The Feeling of Emptiness

It’s nine in the evening and yet I’m still at work. We’re scheduled to leave by 10pm for us to be in the shuttle service of our client. This is our world. Being at field is not easy, especially when you’re just starting your career. But I guess, the brighter side of this profession is the opportunity of meeting different people, be at different places- travel.

While waiting for 10 o’clock to arrive, I’m now thinking of a friend who requested me to write something about “emptiness”. Geez. It’s kinda hard to conceptualize anything about being EMPTY. You’re suppose to produce something out of “nothing”!

It’s a difficult emotion to describe. Maybe it’s because we ourselves do not entertain emptiness when it hits us. That moment when you feel like doing something you don’t know yet? Or wanting someone you don’t know who? It sucks. It doesn't feel good when we don’t understand our own emotions. It is like our souls are drifting from us and yet we don’t want to control as to whether we’ll get back or not.

In these situations I usually don’t want to talk much with anyone. I often would want to be alone to think things over. In these “down” days I let myself not to be me. I’m nobody. No self-appreciation, no self-concern, I-don’t-care. Someone who doesn’t want to let his/her brain cells work will unknowingly manage to keep him/herself SAFE just by being non-existent. ISOLATION. That is the right word.

Can you relate? Yes? Really?? Oh wow. I said Isolation is the right word. But you know what is the BEST word if you’re feeling like this? QUARANTINE. Uh-huh. Go quarantine yourself. Like the birds, the cows, or even the pigs when there’s an epidemic! Tsssss.

Smile. I’m not mad or what. Hahaha. I just described the feeling of emptiness. And after reading I believe that you’ve realized how unwanting emptiness is. I’m not saying that you must not feel it. You SHOULD experience it, not dwell on it.

Emptiness teaches us humility. That after the long road we’ve traveled, there will still come a time that you’ll feel so useless. Worthless. It’s OKAY. Even the ten wheeler trucks will get tired of the off road. You’re just you. You’re no superhero. It’s perfectly fine sometime to hit your chest when you feel that it’s hollow and your heart is not found inside it. Again, It’s okay.

Emptiness teaches us patience. It renews us for us to attain new goals, dreams and hopes. Be very grateful because it offers you a “restart”, a “refresh”, and almost an “undo” of everything that went wrong.

IT IS A CHANCE. Take a good grab of it. Take a deep breath. Then… Can you smile for me please? 

Control+Save. Now I can go home. Thanks! :)

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